I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
