normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
