dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
two words...techno handjob
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
