He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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