hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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