Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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