We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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