When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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