420 ftw
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
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