Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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