Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize