There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Sober January is a disaster.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize