I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
