Got a toothbrush?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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