tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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