My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
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I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
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The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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