Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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