There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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