Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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