he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
