found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
