R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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