don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
they're like a gay fantastic four
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
