I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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