And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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