you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
