You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
