home. puking in laundry basket.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
