My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
