This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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