Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
