I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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