so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
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You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
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We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .