remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him