i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
