I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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