He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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