note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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