I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize