How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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