I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
