I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize