Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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