Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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