His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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