Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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