like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
This house was built for laser tag.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
