a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
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