I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize