She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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