Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You need a sexual gate keeper
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
