Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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