Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I look better un-naked...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
