So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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