I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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