you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
