Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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