U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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