She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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