Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
