one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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