I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whose ass print is on the piano?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize